More on Modesty at Mass

It's not just women, either!

Another reader – one who has shared “inappropriate attire” stories before - emailed the following to me after my July 27 post:

I read your post today about the woman's dress at Mass and I couldn't help but be reminded of my own experiences. A woman with two young daughters appeared at Mass as an EMHC with her top pinned under her arms and her breasts two-thirds exposed. I watched while men avoided her or looked up at the ceiling, women shaking their heads after receiving Communion, and young boys almost falling into her. What a disgrace.

After Mass in the parking lot, I asked if I could speak with her privately away from her daughters. She sent them off with her husband. I explained to her how she was the talk of the people gathered after Mass, but that I chose to speak to her like a mother rather than a gossip. I explained to her how it is our duty as good Christians to admonish sinners and counsel the wicked, and that the outfit she was wearing was disgraceful, and should not have been worn outside her bedroom – let alone at Mass.

She cried, she shouted, "You are not a Christian! Would you like to tell my husband what you said?"

I said of course I would (what a dumb question). “Please bring him over here, and I will ask him what he gets out of wife dressing like that in public.” I continued with, "You have two beautiful daughters.  To set a good example is your job; being a temptress is not acceptable. She walked away.

Later that evening, we returned to the Church for a function. Fr. M came looking for me, and I thought, here it comes. But instead, he came to me and hugged me and said, “You did the right thing today; you admonished a sinner and counseled her as a mother would.”

It turns out that the woman used the Church bulletin to cover her chest and went to Fr. M. and apologized to him, and asked for his forgiveness. He said she told that I had also spoken to her husband, and told him what I said; Fr. M said he agreed with me. She wanted my name to thank me personally, and Fr. M told her he would be seeing me and would pass the apology on to me.

I wept when he told me this. I told Fr. M that her husband was the real hero of the day, as he could have agreed with her for peace, but instead he loved her enough to stand up to her and her wrong choices. [Although it would have been better if he’d said something ahead of time!]

Another example: We were at Mass and a mom, her son, and her daughter stepped into the pew in front of us. The daughter, about 14 years of age, had on a bikini with a shear sarong over it, and was soaking wet; she must have been grabbed out of the pool to go to Mass. My husband and other men were staring at the ceiling. Finally, the woman behind me got out of her seat and told the mother to take her daughter to the back of the Church immediately, which she did.

One more: Fr. W at Mass, right after Communion called out to the women in attendance and told them to wear underwear, and for their husbands to see to it that they did... to avoid their bouncing their way up and down the church. I was mortified.

Another friend emailed me with details of the “dress code” that is publicly posted at many SSPX and CMRI chapels. He notes that “People call them schismatic and not real Catholics, but they would not hesitate to correct and instruct in charity, rather than to take a chance of offending God.” Would that we were all a little more concerned about offending the Lord!

At any rate, here is the dress code from the CMRI, also posted in most SSPX chapels (or something very similar}.

Dress Code

If this is the first time you are attending the traditional Latin Mass here at Mount St. Michael, you will notice that our parishioners do not dress casually for church services. Since the changes that came about after Vatican Council II, few parishes have any kind of dress code. We still believe that modesty and appropriate attire are necessary, especially in church out of reverence for the Blessed Sacrament. Please observe these minimum standards of dress for attendance at church services at Mount St. Michael:

• Women and girls must cover their heads. (Chapel veils or mantillas are available for loan in the vestibule.)

• Women and girls must wear dresses or skirts that cover the knee completely when sitting or standing; slacks, shorts, sleeveless, tight or low-cut clothing or dresses with long cuts or slits are to be avoided.

• Men and boys should wear suit coats and ties.

• Jeans and other casual attire are inappropriate for attendance at church services.

If you’re not a “traditionalist” and you don’t wear a chapel veil to the Novus Ordo Mass (or even the EF Mass), fear not. You are not actually required to do so, but it is a very appropriate way to show reverence, and once you start doing it, you begin to feel naked if you attend Mass without a veil.

On her way to Mass?

On another blog I found a post on “Modesty at Mass: The Case for a Catholic Dress Code” which was written just prior to the changes in the liturgy in December of 2011. It suggested that a change in attire at Mass would accompany the changes in the liturgy. No sense reinventing the wheel – I’ll quote the post in part:

The way many people dress to Mass is completely offensive. Strapless tops, cleavage, skirts that hardly cover the derriere, shorts, tracksuits, cut-offs. Tank tops. Midriffs. Minis. How this became acceptable is a mystery. How to change it, is not.

A simple solution could restore churches everywhere to basic dignity: a dress code. Think this is radical? It’s not. The Vatican has one. The Vatican prohibits anyone from entering who is wearing:

· Shorts/skirts above the knee
· Sleeveless shirts
· Shirts exposing the navel
· Shirts for women that expose cleavage

In fact, I checked to see if this was true, and discovered the following info on a travel website:

Vatican Dress Code

Proof positive!

To enter the Musei Vaticani, the Sistine Chapel, and the Basilica di San Pietro you must comply with the Vatican's dress code, or you will be turned away by the implacable custodians stationed at the doors. (Also no penknives, which will show up under the metal detector.) For both men and women, shorts and tank tops are taboo, as are miniskirts and other revealing clothing. Wear a jacket or shawl over sleeveless tops, and avoid T-shirts with writing or pictures that could risk giving offense.

We’re not even talking Mass here!

Back to the other blog post:

Why don’t all Catholic churches have the same standards? It is the same Jesus Christ present in the tabernacle. It is the same discipleship the priests share with the pope. The human beings on their knees are the same people trying to live lives of holiness and chastity in a world that works to undermine them at every turn.

A Catholic dress code could be instituted with a relatively simple, three-step action plan:

Stage 1—Recruit code enforcement. The priests and deacons would recruit lay women of charitable but forceful demeanor, approximately two per Mass depending on the size of the parish, to enforce the dress code. These women would be trained to stand outside Mass and gently but firmly request those in violation of dress code to change. This stage would likely take eight weeks. I assure you, there would be no shortage of eager volunteers.

Stage 2—Announce the coming change. Just as the Church has been doing with the coming liturgy changes, parishes would include a weekly insert into the bulletin explaining the simple, four-pronged dress code. Priests would alert parishioners at every Mass. (The media would help with its usual hit pieces.) This would be done for four weeks consecutively before dress code beings.

Stage 3—Grace Period. For two weeks there would be a grace period, where the newly trained women would give warnings to those not dressed appropriately that in the future, such attire will not be accepted, but still allow them into the House of God. This allows them to practice confronting those dressed inappropriately and allows the stubborn, skimpy dressers to avoid the humiliation of actually being sent home.

Once the dress-code period becomes official, there will no doubt still be much angst. People will wail and gnash their teeth in their desire to attend Mass dressed in PJs or two-inch skirts. People will claim the Church is so draconian and unwelcoming and that Jesus would never send people away!

Sure, Jesus spent time with residents of the red-light district. But let’s not forget, Jesus also flipped tables in a rage when he saw his Father’s house disrespected. He also reminded us in a parable in a recent gospel that the man who showed up to a royal wedding not wearing the proper attire met a dreadful fate. Jesus was clear throughout the gospels: What you wear matters. He went to his own death in a garment so fine that men gambled for it.

Couldn’t have said it better myself!