Father Feelgood's Mass

Even today, 25+ years after the excerpt below was written, I’ll bet we can all recognize the truth of this Mass “script” from The Desolate City, by Anne Roche Muggeridge:

Good morning, everyone…Good morning, Father…Thank you for making such a great effort to celebrate with the worshiping community of St. Martin Luther King’s on this rainy (hot, snowy, beautiful) day…

I hope you noticed the great new air-conditioning (carpet, windows, banners, choir robes) that the parish council (RENEW, building committee, liturgy team) have provided…

My name is…My colleagues are…The Eucharistic ministers are…I’d like you to welcome Ms _____, the new pastoral assistant. I’d like to welcome visitors to the parish. I’d like to remind you that baby-sitting is provided in the parish hall…

What does this Gospel have to say to us in our own context (peace, strike, election)?...I would like to read the wonderful insights of the Grade IV class on the meaning of Thanksgiving (Christmas, Easter, peace, war, God, caring, sharing)…You will notice their wonderful interpretations of these themes on the walls behind the altar. They have so much to teach us all…

Would anyone care to add their own petitions to the prayers of the faithful?...Any further petitions?...Would ______ stand up on this occasion of their baptism (confirmation, wedding anniversary, death) for a well-deserved round of applause?...

Now we will all sing…Everyone try to sing this one…Well, we didn’t do very well with that one. Let’s all try harder next time. Ms _____ will practice with you for a few moments before each song…Don’t be afraid to sing. God doesn’t mind if you don’t have a great voice…Surely we can all do better than that..

The collection today is for the struggle for justice and peace in El Salvador (Nicaragua, Guatemala, Brazil). Sister _____ who has just returned from three days of living among the poor in Central America (Tanzania, the Philippines) will say a few words about it and show a short film…

Here comes the Sunday school class…They will place their representations of today’s readings around the altar in the offertory procession…Now let us offer each other a sign of peace. Peace, Anne…John…George…Joe…Nice to see you…The Peace of Christ…Hi…Hi…Hi…

When you come to Holy Communion follow the ushers’ directions so the lines to various ministers will be equal…Body of Christ, Anne…Body of Christ, George…Oh, this must be the new baby…

Please be seated for some further announcements…I would like to welcome the Sunday school (first communion, confirmation) class…The leaders of RENEW will now speak on this week’s theme…Thank you for celebrating with us…Come again…Pick up a bulletin (RENEW pledge, Global Village Voice, Development and Peace Report) at the back…Peace pledge at the back if anyone would care to sign…

Coffee and doughnuts in the parish hall…

Go in peace to love and serve each other and have a good day.” (The Desolate City, p. 136)

I would use this sign. I was also tempted to call out,
"Don't forget the Gloria this week!"

The Mass we attended Saturday evening was even worse because it included all manner of ad-libbing throughout the entire Mass by the visiting priest (whom I’ve mentioned before). 

You know it’s going to be a long haul when he starts out, “And let us bless ourselves …and one another… and indeed the whole world… In the Name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit”. This priest seems unable to say a single sentence of “the black” without adding his own little personal touch – to the point that he occasionally loses his place and stumbles to resume the proper prayer.

For instance, at this Saturday evening Mass, the priest was without a server of any sort, nor was there a reader available, apparently. So he cheerfully did the readings himself, introducing each with a few comments about what the passage was about. At the responsorial psalm, he added commentary to tell us that, “It’s so wonderful that we have this opportunity…You know, imagine you had the chance to talk to a very great King, that he was going to talk to you and you could say something back to him. That’s the opportunity we have, to say something back to God in his very own words that he’s given us!”

Where’s that in the rubrics?! [1] And he says the whole Mass that way.

Sadly, our daughter, at the mere prospect of enduring another Mass celebrated by this priest, asked “Can I just skip Mass and go to confession?”

Now there’s a moral dilemma…

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[1] According to Lazlo Dobszay in The Bugnini Liturgy and the Reform of the Reform, that’s an erroneous interpretation of the responsorial psalm anyway; “responsorial” means one “voice” is responding to the other within the psalm, not that the psalm is a response to the reading.